I grew up in the desert in a missile-testing town
I cut my teeth on Goddard, I was nurtured on Von Braun
Our windows used to rattle when they broke the speed of sound
Down at mighty Edwards where the fighter jocks abound.
Don't ya' know they had the right stuff
Mom and home and apple pie stuff
They were heroes and they'd hang tough
Way up above mach one.
My father was a physicist, a rocket-loving nut
He fired me with the notion to grow up an astronaut,
Revolted that I didn't know an ampere from a watt
And shocked by my resistance to all that I was taught.
But don't ya' know I had the right stuff
Rocket fire up in the sky stuff
I'd be a hero, and I'd hang tough
To bring the space age on.
Dad trained his Heathkit telescope upon the heavens bright
Tripod mounted on the roof, with Venus in his sights.
"Come up and see your future," he'd frequently invite.
I wanted to, but I was scared of heights!
But don't ya' know I had the right stuff
Rocket fire up in the sky stuff
I'd be a hero, and I'd hang tough
To bring the space age on.
In college I had trouble with imaginary roots
I never could get decimals to stay where they were put
In chemistry, I learned too late, it wasn't real astute
To drop sulfuric acid on the teacher's foot.
It seemed I didn't have the right stuff
The transcendental quest for pi stuff
And quantum theory was real tough,
But still I struggled on.
Graduation opened up a terrifying void
I fired off applications, all strategically deployed
But Einstein was all relative, Planck constantly annoyed
And I had too much entropy to wish to be employed.
Now I knew I had the wrong stuff
The I-don't-know-where-I-belong stuff
Dreams of glory just weren't quite enough
To build a future on.
Though I thought I ought to be like Shepard and Armstrong
Years of aimless scribbling convinced me I was wrong.
There's a place for folk like me, I've found where I belong:
No astronaut can be forgot, when I have sung his song!
Don't ya' know I've got the wrong stuff
The put-it-in-a-filking-song stuff
I'm no hero, but I'll hang tough
And filk until the dawn!
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